February 2012
45 posts
I know you can do it. You know you can do it, too. Now, you just have to do it.
“Different is good. Different just takes getting used to.”
– Karen Hoi.
Trying is tiring.
A useless mind and a waste of space.
Everything is going to get lighter, even if it never gets better.
Dear Mark:
We have never seen anything like this.
In money, we find security. In money, we find control, and safety. I, too, found security in money.
And I was ashamed.
When you don’t know what anything is, you just get confused. And you want so badly to get it all sorted out, but you just don’t know how. And no one else around you knows how, and you can’t reach the people that do know how because communication becomes too difficult—or you just don’t have the motivation to try.
The nights in this house are usually quiet—the mornings, too—so I always get some extra time to read, do some homework, some of the things that, earlier in the day, I said I’d do later. But there’s a stranger in my house, sleeping in the room next to mine (he’s not entirely a stranger, I guess; my parent’s friend or something). I wouldn’t mind having...
I’ve smuggled myself into new nationalities. You think you’d be proud of me.
There’s room to believe.
It isn’t a joke or a phase, it’s not some kind of condition or a psychological problem.
It’s just who I am, what I want to be.
The condition of being insufficient, or falling...
The instinct to run, to back away, or give up.
Never being able to feel satisfied, and to reject anyone who tries.
How many—and still have one left for me?
Waiting for you should be a sin.
Sorry, I don’t want to make small talk; I don’t really care. Maybe at the reunion or something, when I’m supposed to care.
“There are only the pursued, the pursuing, the busy, and the tired.”
I want to get myself together, but I don’t really know how.
9:18PM, and I still haven’t started my World Literature paper.
He paid no attention to her calling, but ran on, away, away, anywhere to be by himself.
The feeling used to pass, but it seems like it's...
Try to name one thing you like.
You used to have such a longer list, and you never had to look for it.
I want to care, but, my goodness, I just don’t.
When there is no point to anything it can get a...
But you would settle for anything that would make your brain slow down or stop.
And soon everybody will ask what became of you.
Or nobody will, but that’s okay, too.
You told me, a couple years ago, that you knew we had some of the same issues, and (because I used to write a whole lot on here) you knew that I had a lot of stress in my life at the time. You said you’d be there for me and try your hardest to help me out. I’m sorry I never gave you the chance to.
But now the stress is greater, and you don’t know it because I haven’t been...
You told me I seem happier today. So, I thought maybe I might say it aloud. As if speaking it might make it true, or more true (was it true before you told me?).
Say it again and mean it.
And so I’m typing and typing and deleting and deleting and deleting, and clicking “Cancel” and then “Text” and then typing and typing and deleting and deleting and deleting over and over again.
I’m sick of reducing all my thoughts into one sentence, and everything I have to say into a few words, or instead finding some quote from a book I can’t seem to...
Tonight, there will be no morning star.
I know you’re depending on me, but I’m sorry.
The Power of Introverts. →
Many people believe that introversion is about being antisocial, and that’s really a misperception.
Damn it. All of you keep showing up unannounced.
I’m afraid I’ll disappoint you all tomorrow.
He had discovered Time and Death and God.
I don’t understand why it’s not okay for you to love me.
In the abyss.
I wait for the revelation, the transformation, the atonement. But I am not the hero.
Life was a lot easier when all I had to focus on was school.
January 2012
61 posts
I want to forget.
“If one’s different, one’s bound to be lonely.”
– Aldous Huxley. Brave New World.
Mad, mad, and cruel.
You’re corrupting everyone.